The turning of leaves and vows

My brother is getting a divorce. It's a tough thing to go through, at least I would imagine it would be having never been a divorcee myself, holding only a magnification of my knowledge of breakups and that being nothing short of excruciating. But he sounded okay, if a little drunk, on the phone. It seemed more an intellectual affair with an emotional wake than any sort of maelstrom of rage and sorrow that I'd probably have it be. She's figuring herself out, he supports that and is somewhat relieved of the burden of her depression, the two having gone through a major move, a miscarriage, a success and a lingering failure. It was neither surprising nor suspected, but rather a natural consequence of the nature of relationships, that they either last forever or end.

We're complicated creatures that's for sure. I got hints of sadness but excitement, an unexpected future born of a surprising conclusion to an assumed past. I felt like I was tasting his trauma like a wine, searching for a nutty flavor or a touch of oak, or maybe a sense of desperation under a layer of currant. It had a strong bouquet, but over all it tasted weak. I got a feeling of rehearsal and a tinge of fraudulence. He's not sure how he feels about it, but I suspect that he's been feeling like leaving too, which would explain the civility between them, a sort of understanding of motive, complicit even in the act of sabotage.

I don't feel sad about this turn of events, which isn't to say I feel any gladness for it either. They seem fine, or at least not a danger, and that's really the best you could hope for in a situation like this. She's working on a novel, the first such inspiration she's had in a long time, which I imagine is exciting for her and a star she'd be willing to follow to the ends of the earth now that she's spotted it in a sky she fears too close to dawn. I think he's tired of denying her lamenting and self deprecation, he has a thirsty ambition that I think he's been holding back. But they may find that the driving force for the negative may be the thing that sparks the dreams they end up chasing. His creativity and ambition, her selflessness and compassion. From another, older and more tired, perspective those can be turned into self-centeredness and weakness respectively. But who's to say what judgements our minds will pass when the summer leaves for a cold and bitter winter?

I wouldn't dare to assume.